Autumn Harrison

I am so happy to know you. I always thought it was amazing how you could be smiling all the time, and not just a stage smile, but a real, genuine one. Even in pictures of you in hospital gowns and a shaved head, you are beaming at the camera. I think that’s kind of amazing. I remember my inability to accept the fact that you, of all people, had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Everyone who has ever met you knows how beautiful, talented, and full of life you are, and I kept thinking as you were going through treatment, how is she still smiling all the time? She may never be able to sing and dance again, but she is still smiling. But that’s just you. I just want to say how much you have inspired me to appreciate not only singing and musical theatre but the importance and presence of family and friends in difficult times. You are beautiful and I am sad to know I will never see your smiling face in person again. Thank you for brightening my life.

Love, Autumn

And I feel awesome. Granted, it’s only a first draft and it’s only a 14-page short film, but OMG I JUST WROTE A SCREENPLAY. I’m like, why have I never done this before? Now I feel like spending all of my time writing screenplays. Maybe I’ll do that.

I’m sorry you’re so choppy and badly-worded and that I had to make all the periods 14-pt font to get you onto the seventh page. I promise you will be beautiful by next week when I turn in the revision.

For now, well… I apologize in advance for the inevitable C-range grade that is about to be penned onto your beautiful white paper. *crossing fingers for mid-to-high C*

Love and apologies,

Sleepy Autumn

P.S. I feel really bad about this. I’ll try to get up early for some last-minute fixes (provided I can actually get my butt out of bed when my alarm goes off).

Don’t worry about it. I got this. I’m great at BS-ing papers the night before they’re due. Besides, I’m already doing well in the class, so it’ll be okay if this paper isn’t perfect, AND I get to revise it next week anyway. So I’m gonna work on something else tonight instead of stressing.

Peace out,

Autumn

WRITE YOUR FREAKING TERM PAPER. IT’S DUE ON WEDNESDAY AND YOU HAVEN’T EVEN DECIDED ON A THESIS. GET THE HELL OFF THE INTERNET UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMETHING SUBSTANTIAL.

Love,

YOUR G.P.A.

Just now discovering the fun of writing papers on feminism (and the lack thereof in the case of David Mamet’s Glengarry Glen Ross). How did I just discover this?

Lots of things about life lately have been particularly sucky and are ultimately trapping me inside this place I like to call the Utter-Lack-of-Motivation-Pit of Despair. And so, in order to hopefully climb out of that pit just enough to be productive before my brain hits the pillow tonight, I am going to create a brief list of things in my life that are non-sucky and awesome and inspiring.

1. School is out in one month.
2. That means summer is in one month.
3. I’m going home for summer.
4. That means trees, lakes, kayaking, free time, warmth, sun, a fun job, and family.
5. I have an income.
6. I have a place to live.
7. I have yet to take out student loans.
8. There is food in my kitchen, and it is mine, and it is tasty.
9. I know a ton of awesome people who make my life awesome.
10. My tumblr brethren listen to me rant when I am procrastinating.
11. I have a phone to call my parents and grandparents whenever I need some unconditional support and love.
12. I ended up with too much on my plate this quarter not because others forced anything on me, but because I am blessed to have been chosen to be a part of so many student projects and am lucky enough to attend a university that offers classes that are actually challenging.
13. I don’t need to plan out my whole life right now. I can take it day by day.
14. My apartment is clean.
15. The weather report predicts warm and sunny for the rest of the week.
16. Nothing lasts forever.
17. Did I mention school is out in a month?

5 hours ago: Gotta get home and write a paper!

4 hours ago: I’m pretty hungry. Better make some dinner first and check my email while it’s cooking.

3 hours ago: Oh, according to this email I can renew my lease for next year. Better do that before I forget. That reminds me, the new schedule of classes is up and I should figure out my schedule for fall quarter while I’m at it.

2 hours ago: Gonna check my facebook, just for a sec.

Now: Oh, yeah… still gotta do that paper.

Having some pretty intense feelings of apathy right now. Great timing since I have a paper due in the morning. Whyyyyyyyyy do I sit for ten minutes staring at a blank document? How can I perform hours of mindless work but my brain takes a vacation when I need to actually think about something?

Usually my dreams of this genre are post-apocalyptic and involve lots of zombies, but this time everything was on fire. Interesting.

At first I was like, this will be a major sacrifice for me! And then I remembered that I have an iPhone and realized that I probably wouldn’t miss my laptop at all. (No offense, laptop, I love you.) Plus that’ll keep me from doing homework while I’m home! Yaaaaaa….y.

I hate getting a million notifications and having to read the comments whenever I change my relationship status, so I hid it on facebook to avoid that. But the unfortunate part about hiding it from facebook is that nobody realizes when your relationship status changes, which means that when they see you in person they assume things are still going fine with you and your boyfriend and they talk about you like you’re still a couple, and breaking the news in person is even harder than doing it on facebook (if not impossible). So basically, for those of you who know me, I just want you to know that Isaac and I broke up recently. We talked it over for a while, decided it had to happen, and nobody is upset or angry or anything. It’s resolved; I mean, as resolved as this kind of thing can get. It’s still very new and weird and numb and hard to process and at times painful (and awkward when people don’t realize we broke up and I can’t find the words to tell them), but we’re working through that stage so we can be good friends at the end of it. It’s hard, but somehow I’m okay most of the time. So yeah. I guess I should start telling people to avoid more awkwardness, but this is a start.